Sometimes I just don't understand
There are times in life that I just get so frustrated. I have more questions than answers, everything that you planned is not going as so, and you seem all alone on this journey. Such is the story of my life for the past few weeks. (No details needed). I look around at everything that has happened in my life, and I just scratch my head. I have said for some time now, that nice guys really do finish last. The guys that I know who try to live a faithful life end up being the ones that have more questions than comrades. And here I am, confused, conflicted, and complicated.
Yet, I pick up my Bible and read: "For we walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7. What is the irony of this verse. It is written in the midst of a teaching about reconciliation?? What would walking by faith have to do with reconciliation? At the same time, I read across the encouraging words in Hebrews 11:6: "without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." That's not easy for me to read. Especially in light of Gal. 6:9: "do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not lose heart." I know these things are true. That is not even questionable! But the problem now lies in what is happening in my life. I find myself crying out to my Father and saying "Father, I know you control all things. open my eyes to the truth, and not my wants."
One of the toughest things for me to realize is that so many things that are slipping out of my hands are not my own anyway. Above all else, this season in my life has taught me to hold losely to all things in my life. What is most precious? I don't know who reads this things, but I pray that this will be an encouragement to anyone who knows what this time in life is like. I know now more than ever: I walk by FAITH, not by my own power or possessions (or lack thereof).
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?... But I have trusted in Your mercy. My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." Ps. 13:1-2,6
What great encouragement to know you are in good company!!
Yet, I pick up my Bible and read: "For we walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7. What is the irony of this verse. It is written in the midst of a teaching about reconciliation?? What would walking by faith have to do with reconciliation? At the same time, I read across the encouraging words in Hebrews 11:6: "without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." That's not easy for me to read. Especially in light of Gal. 6:9: "do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not lose heart." I know these things are true. That is not even questionable! But the problem now lies in what is happening in my life. I find myself crying out to my Father and saying "Father, I know you control all things. open my eyes to the truth, and not my wants."
One of the toughest things for me to realize is that so many things that are slipping out of my hands are not my own anyway. Above all else, this season in my life has taught me to hold losely to all things in my life. What is most precious? I don't know who reads this things, but I pray that this will be an encouragement to anyone who knows what this time in life is like. I know now more than ever: I walk by FAITH, not by my own power or possessions (or lack thereof).
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?... But I have trusted in Your mercy. My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." Ps. 13:1-2,6
What great encouragement to know you are in good company!!
posted by michael sapp | 8:09 PM
4 Comments:
Sapp, I echo your comments in this blog. I know it has to be tough being in Dillon. It has been somewhat difficult for me being here in Fort Mill. I don't really understand why im here, why God wants me here, or what His purpose is for me...but I am trying to take it 1 day at a time. Hang in there man and keep in touch. God Bless...Your former NGC roomy...Moody. Phil. 4:13
Whassup Michael Sapp?
Know that you have brothers all over praying for you even if we don't get to talk to you regularly. I think we all can relate to your feelings at some point in time. Just let me say that I love you, God loves you, and one day...none of these things here...our situations, trials, or difficulties will compare to the glory of being with Him.
I can't tell you things will get better, but I do know God uses everything and I mean everything for His glory.
Peace.
Michael Sapp,
I echo what Chris and Jason said. It gets under my skin when people say the life of a believer is an easy one. It is not. Life is not easy and many times, like you said, the questions outweigh the answers by a million tons. The good thing is that we know we aren't alone, and you have people around you whether you know it or not, that care about you and pray for you. If anything, these tough times will give us a much bigger picture of Christ's suffering and we only get to see and feel a glimpse of it.
You keep going man despite what the present looks like. YOu need to come up to Clemson or Columbia and hang out. Getting away from things is good, really good. love ya man.
Hey Michael,I just wanted to let you know that the way you are handling the tough times shows your incredible trust in God's plan. I wasn't able to give Him the glory until I was out of my valley because I had a hard time seeing past my own sorrow. The fact that you are strong enough to keep things in perspective speaks volumes about your faith. As Tupac said, "Keep your head up." :)
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